Squirrely – my very first blog entry
So last time I talked about rejection and putting myself out there – opening myself up for criticism, rejection, judgment etc. This reminded me of how scary it was the first time I wrote a blog entry. Before I started Feisty Owl Studio and this blog I contributed to a friend’s blog, which is no longer online. I still have those posts saved and in the interest of giving them a new life, I will post them here.
Below is the first blog post that I ever wrote. I remember that my Dad read it and was not impressed. He said, ‘That first blog post you wrote was pretty squirrely, but they got better after that’. I didn’t really know what squirrely meant, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t a compliment.
I just decided to look up squirrely and here’s the first definition that popped up (from Urban Dictionary): “Adjective: 1. mildly insane 2. unpredictable and jumpy, often in a cowardly way 3. nutty; resembling a squirrel looking for nuts.”
Wow. Just for the record, any mild insanity I have probably comes from my Dad. So, I guess that would make him an expert on squirreliness. If you’re reading this, I love you Dad. And if you’re not reading this, I still love you. Just a little less.
Squirrely, though it may be, it was honest and captured a moment in time for me as I decided to put myself out there, via my writing, on the internet.
Here it is:
Adventures in Blogging
Sunday, 09 November 2008 00:00 Tracesea Slater
I had never really thought about writing a blog before, but here I am and here is my very first blog entry. Being new to the world of blogging I am very aware of my inexperience and I find myself a bit self conscious… Writing for an unknown audience, I think about what should I be writing and what will people think? Already in this short paragraph I have gone back and deleted, reworded and tried to make everything just right.
What’s the big deal?
I’m not sure, but this seems like a big step for me.
I consider just clicking on that red X in the corner and deleting this all.
Maybe I should just come back
and begin when I have something,
something more important to say,
when I’m more composed,
when I have it all figured out.
But this is not about perfection or the creation of a perfect story.
It’s about the journey
and journeys aren’t smooth or perfectly crafted
They are often bumpy and full of unexpected twists and turns
And even when they don’t go as planned,
they lead to discovery
both pleasant and painful
So, in an attempt to share my journey, with all it’s happy surprises, unexpected pitfalls and even its possible banality – I will try my best to let go of my self consciousness and give you a (mostly) unedited account of my thoughts and experiences.
I must end this entry
to click on the Save button
before I lose my nerve
by analyzing what I’ve written
and erasing this awkward beginning,
this true account of my initiation
to the world of blogging.